This was harder to watch. I think Marcy had a better idea of how to get through this scene than I did, just as Eden had a better idea of how to manage the pain of this moment than Cruz did. It's completely clear in their kiss that this break-up is not going to last, though Cruz obviously doesn't know that yet.
When I compare any of these scenes to the work we would do later, I remember how much we grew as actors, and in a relatively short period of time. We would get a lot better at relaxing into these roles. We had no other choice, since we ran out of the energy we needed to be nervous. It's one of the greatest blessings of the experience of Santa Barbara: We got really tired.
And yet we still had to learn so many speeches and shoot so many scenes and face so many challenges in any given week -- challenges that forced us to make choices about our core values as people -- that time itself seemed to compress and accelerate our development. We grew so much more capable of thinking clearly and of managing our time. And of trusting that if we just kept working at it, each day's impossible mountain of work was probably going to turn out Okay -- because after all, yesterday's mountain had turned out Okay, and the day before. It was an amazing thing to go through -- like nothing I've known before or since -- a part of the job that all of us were grateful to have experienced.
And in the end, it was the hardest part of leaving the show: being separated from the gift of the constant, extraordinary challenges it posed. I loved Santa Barbara and I loved Cruz. He became a brother to me. A brother who was my teacher. And to this day, I love the great Marcy Walker. These were wonderful years we passed together, as the lucky caretakers of these brave and lucky lovers.